I have heard at two different times in my life, in no uncertain terms, that I am supposed to write. Both times in response to prayers of desperation said aloud to the sky: what am I supposed to be doing?
This is a course for artists and non-artists, writers and non-writers; people who think they have maybe been missing something and could be living in a way that is more true to who they are. There will be an expectation of all participants of energy, participation, vulnerability, commitment and time. You don’t need to have any specific skills, any answers, or any experience with workshops like this. All that is asked is you show up, be honest and try.
A very long time ago I made a deal with God: I said that I would forgo love for a Writing Life. Love was the only thing I wanted nearly as much as to write, and surely, I thought, success at writing would demand a great sacrifice.
Maybe the rest, maybe all of the journey thus far has just been the lesson being repackaged over and over and over again in the hopes that one of these times I’ll finally see the answer through the material goods, mental anguish, boredom, and gluten-free cookie dough ice cream.
It’s not magic, it’s just physics (readers note: I am not a magician or a physicist, so apologies if I am mis-representing facts about either one’s reality). If I am pushing something away, or running from something, then my words about wanting it are irrelevant. And if I don’t get to the root of my fears, then it doesn’t matter how hard I work or want or pray, I will never be in alignment with myself and thus always just living out variations of the same struggle.
When I look at my spotty dating history one thing stands out unfortunately clearly: I have never managed to write while in a relationship.
This essay was published by Elephant Journal on June 11, 2020 under the title “Uncomfortable Emotions are Wretched. Here’s Why We Should Feel Them Anyway” at https://www.elephantjournal.com/2020/06/uncomfortable-emotions-are-wretched-heres-why-we-should-feel-them-anyway-pamela-stewart/ I don’t know why I ever write about anything other than the struggle of writing itself. It’s the only thing that comes naturally to me. It reveals a stubbornness,Continue reading “From (and for) the Writer Who Doesn’t Write and is Sure as Hell Not Going to Start Now”