I took a leap. And now we wait.
This is a course for artists and non-artists, writers and non-writers; people who think they have maybe been missing something and could be living in a way that is more true to who they are. There will be an expectation of all participants of energy, participation, vulnerability, commitment and time. You don’t need to have any specific skills, any answers, or any experience with workshops like this. All that is asked is you show up, be honest and try.
I’ve cried twice so far when reading. There’s fear of being fooled and there’s hope that it’s safe to believe.
The more narrow our view of ourselves — the stricter our vision is — the more of reality we will have to reject over the course of our lives as our vision and idea of ourselves becomes threatened.
Maybe the rest, maybe all of the journey thus far has just been the lesson being repackaged over and over and over again in the hopes that one of these times I’ll finally see the answer through the material goods, mental anguish, boredom, and gluten-free cookie dough ice cream.
But here’s the interesting part: every now and then instead of trying to change your anger in the last 10 minutes, instead of trying to not feel it, to not see it head on, instead of denying that this lesser part of you exists, you just allow it to be. You let it turn you hot, you attempt to dispel nothing. And generally this moment right here, this is the reason why we meditate, because somehow it dissipates on its own.
It’s not magic, it’s just physics (readers note: I am not a magician or a physicist, so apologies if I am mis-representing facts about either one’s reality). If I am pushing something away, or running from something, then my words about wanting it are irrelevant. And if I don’t get to the root of my fears, then it doesn’t matter how hard I work or want or pray, I will never be in alignment with myself and thus always just living out variations of the same struggle.
Up until last year, I was flailing around in the dark thinking that that was what I was supposed to be doing. Thinking that it was all magic and mysticism instead of direct, translatable experience. I thought I was a magical unicorn on the path of my own journey, when in fact I am just one of the masses who has come to meditation for answers.